Always second choice
by EwaldAngel
Summary: My first Imagination/FanFiction about the amazing, handsome swedish artist Anton Ewald.
1. Chapter 1

Gently you stroke his chest. To lie next to him, cuddling with him just feels good.  
"I missed you." You hear him say, and therefore easily you raise your head to see into his eyes. A smile forms on your lips. "I wasn't gone so long." You smile. Then bend yourself to him and just before you put your lips to his: "I missed you too." He returns your kiss gently and easily sweeps over your back.

For a few days you were with your parents, which live in the north of Sweden, quite far away from Stockholm. You didn't even really know... why you visited them. Again it ended in dispute. Your parents won't understand that you want to live so far away from them.  
You were glad again to be in the city and you were delighted when an hour later, as Anton has appeared at your door.  
You are friends, good friends and enjoy certain advantages. You aren't a couple, even if you've thought of it, but you don't dare to tell him that you feel more than friendship for him. It could be that he doesn't feel the same way and you couldn't bear it if he would stay away from you at the end.

You sit on your bed and Anton does the same like you. He gently breathed a kiss on your shoulder before he gets up and put his clothes on. You watch him with a smile on your lips. He then turns to you and smiles. "You're coming tonight, right?" You frown and look questioningly at him. "Where?" He bites his bottom lip slightly before answering. "I have a gig today in the club." You smile. "Yeah ... of course I will be there." You answer then smiling and on his lips also form a smile. His smile, which when you see it, again and again increases your heartbeat. He leans over to you and you breathed a gentle kiss on the cheek. "See you later."

Hours later you enter the club with a friend, in which Anton will have his gig. You look around for him, but can't see him anywhere. But for that, you discover Robin and Amir. When the two see you, they smile at you and as you reached them, they embrace you shortly. After you have talks a bit, you go with them to a lounge, where you will encounter a few more familiar faces, but Anton isn't there. You don't think further about it. He would show up. Maybe he's in a room and is his gig.

Time passes quickly; you have a nice talk with Robin. During Anton's performance, you all support him together.  
But after the performance he disappears again, which makes you a little confused. He had want that you came and now he did not come over. He had seen you, of which you are convinced.  
After a while Robin thinks then he would see where Anton is and you ask whether you may go with him. He nods and smiles. Together you search Anton. It doesn't take long and you can find him. However, he isn't alone and you wish at the moment you wouldn't come here... You have the feeling that, as you see the two in the corner, your heart breaks into thousand pieces.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Robin, which speaks to the two. You bite your bottom lip and say yourself to not make any scene now. After all, you aren't a couple and how you realize now, you never will be.  
"Don't you think it would be nice if you would spend us, your friends, also some attention? After all, we are here because of you." Anton turns to you, he looks shortly at you, you look at him, without any emotion, and then he turns to Robin and nods. He agrees. As he takes Janet's hand, you don't wait any longer; you turn around and go forward to the others.  
Still the image before the eyes, the two, entwined, in the corner standing there and kissing.

The rest of the evening, the rest of the night, you're rather quiet and introverted. More than once Robin and Amir want to engage you in conversation, but they give up after they realized, that you are not in the mood to talk.

You try to avoid any eye contact with Anton. You won't see him sitting there with her. However, your eyes wander from time to time to him. He smiles at her. It just hurts. Sure, you're actually friends, and you should be happy for him, at least he always wanted something from Janet. You should have been aware. Well, you should have known that Janet will fall for Anton too. Who can resist Anton?

At some point, you've got the feeling that you've tortured yourself enough and say goodbye simply of those, who sit next to you and then disappears from the club. You just want to go home. Outside, you stay a few steps ahead of the club, breathe deeply in and out and tears came into your eyes. Just when you want to go, you hear someone calling you.

Frowning, you turn around and see Anton come up to you. You put your arms over your chest and look at him questioningly. He looks at you concerned. "Everything okay?" What should you respond? No it's not all right? As he wants to put his hands on your arms, you take a step backwards, which causes him to look at you quizzically. "What's wrong?" His voice sounds surprised, you look at him. Easily you shake your head and look down. "Everything is okay. Perfectly. You should go back inside. I'm sure Janet already wonders where you'll stay." Even before you've finished the sentence, you realize how that must sound for him, but you don't care. You just don't care. He should know that he has hurt you. "You're mad at me because I kissed Janet?" Do you hear him ask, his voice sounds applied. You lift your eyes and look at him. You don't really know what to say to him, and simply press your lips on each other. He shakes his head. "We're not a couple. You have no right to make me a scene because I want to spend time with her." His words feel like a knife. Shortly you close your eyes before you look at him again. "Why did you want me to come to the club? Hm? Why should I come anyway if you had already planed to spend your evening with her?" You can't prevent, your voice sounds injured. "Because we're friends. And I like to have my friends around me, if I have a gig." He runs a hand through his hair and looks at you. "Why the hell does it bother you so... that I spend my night with her? You already know that I want something from her. That's nothing new for you." He says.

Tears come into your eyes. "I'm just stupid ... I was hoping ... that ... it's just a crush on her ... that ..." You look down. You don't know really ... what can you say, but you also don't really need to say more, because he probably realized. "Tell me you aren't in love with me?!" You hear what he asks, what he realize. You answer nothing to it. "Why ... I ... we're just friends enjoyed some certain advantages ... why you ruin that? You should have known that I don't feel the same for you. We are friends and nothing more." His words hurt. You can't prevent that you a few tears run down your cheeks, as you look at him again. "Oh yes ... I'm so stupid. Sorry. How could I ... how could I be so stupid to fall in love with you huh? I mean... there is nothing lovable on you right? Or no stop wait ... for others it's okay to love you right? Have I understood correctly? I'm just there if you want to have your fun, but otherwise I just should sit quiet?" You're angry and he probably speechless. What the hell is he thinking, who he is. Yeah probably it was stupid from you to fall for him. But he also knows, you aren't the only girl that has felt in love with him. He always is nice to them, but at you he shouts.  
"But yes ... you're right... We are just friends... no wait ... we were friends." You say, in that moment you see how Janet comes out of the club and calls Anton. He looks briefly in her direction and then turns right back to you to. But you're gone. With quick steps you walk home and let your tears flow.


End file.
